I’M WORKING ON IT!!!

Now, I’m not one to break promises, so I’m gonna try my best to do this.

The first thing I’m going to do is write a little Saturday-School verse study; then, I’m going to find a chapter from my novel and share it with those who want it. I know I told you last time to say to me if you wanted one or the other, but I decided to keep the peace (as best as I can) and do both. (oh boy…that means I have to actually find a chapter that’s not too connected with the rest and yet still has impact and is worthy of attention. Aka, not the first chapter. 😅)

So, it’s Monday and I finally found an Idea for a post. I was stressing all day about what I was going to write, then I finally was reading my devotional one night and found this verse I thought I should share.

‘All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out.’ John 6:37 (ESV)

Okay, I don’t study my Bible nearly as much as I should (sorry, guys), so stick with me.

God gives us things, things we need, things we think we need, and things we never knew we needed, and whatever He gives is not turned away. If the Father gives it, it will come. It’s as simple as that.

Therefore, whoever comes to me will never be cast out. If someone comes to me asking for help, I will help them. If someone comes to me, not knowing why they came or what they needed, I will not turn them away. Right? I say that confidently as an introvert typing on a screen…. Forget I said that—

Now, for the second part of this weird post. BOOK TIME!!!

The beginning of chapter five goes a little like this:

Gran and Gramps came home before the suit was done. I quickly picked up all the materials and ran to my room. My heart beat in my throat as I let them fall from my hands. I began to kick them under my bed, but someone was by my door before they were gone.

My eyes widened, and I quickly yanked my sheets over the edge of my bed to cover the fabrics on the floor. “One moment!” I called, breathless.

The person knocked again, saying, “No, I’m just here to give you dinner. Your grandmother’s not ready to see you yet,” as Gramps walked back down the stairs, the crackle of a son filled the quiet space around me.

Gran, I choked on my breath, sinking to my knees. Gramps shouldn’t have to drop food for me at my door. I shouldn’t hear Gran breaking downstairs. I should have just kept my fingers to myself. I mumbled under my breath as I got to my feet and walked to the door. Opening it, I pulled the takeout box inside. I shut the door quickly, Gran’s weeping even louder now.

I pulled my sheets back into my bed, tugging the fabrics from under the frame. I opened the food container, pulling a needle and thread into my hands.

Gran and Gramps’ voices faded as I continued to work, the day slowly falling into night. Soon, I could hear Gramps snore from his room downstairs. Gran’s heartbeat was now quiet with his.

I flicked my desk lamp on, my eyes getting heavy. I pushed myself to continue to work, even though I could feel the exhaustion in my stomach. But, even after all the sounds were gone, I could hear the man from my dreams cackle. His laugh as I fell. And I was never going back to that.

I woke up in the same position, the needle still pricked into the fabrics. Yawning, I set the fabric on the floor and stretched. I blinked the sleep from my eyes, hearing the qaint sounds of Gran and Gramps moving downstairs.

I shook my head and stood to change. I quickly slipped into the bathroom on my way down the stairs and brushed my teeth.

The stares I got when I went downstairs told me precisely what I needed to know. I kept my head low and stepped out the door. Fear folded into my stomach. I can’t live like this. Something has to change. There has to be a way to get rid of this space.

To say the least, school was uneventful. I ate lunch with Aletha, who had chosen to wait for me instead of going to run with the cheerleaders.

Mrs. Jewels was quiet. Her eyes continuously trained on me, just like Gran and Gramps had. It took the whole day for the guilty knot in my chest to lift. And as that day continued, I hoped Gran and Gramps would be better when I got back. Only when I finally returned home did I find I was completely wrong.

Gran wasn’t baking as usual. Gramps sat at the table, watching me as I kicked off my shoes. I kept my head low, gritting my teeth. I wanted to run to his arms, to hug him and tell him how I’d made a new friend and gotten an ‘A’ in my French class. But I didn’t. Instead, I turned and stalked back to my room. Gramps tried to call me back, his voice soft. It made me want to fall into his arms, to confess what I did and what had happened. But I swallowed that feeling, knowing I could do nothing to keep the space from growing. Gran and Gramps don’t need my burden. They don’t need my pain.

The eyes were the last thing I had to sew on before the suit was done. It only took a few minutes, and I could finally wear my finished project.

I slipped into my suit, trying my hardest to keep quiet. When I pulled the teal mask over my head and stood in the mirror, I smiled. It was teal up the torso, splitting off into a spider’s web when it hit my stomach. From there, a white spider splayed across my chest and two black eyes.

I walked to the window, but as I made it to the sill, the stairs outside my door creaked. I froze, listening to the heartbeat behind the wood.

Gramps pulled on my door handle, opened it and stepped inside. He came into the room and walked around my bed. His face was straight, his breathing steady.

Meanwhile, I gripped the ceiling as tightly as possible. I held my breath, watching with wide eyes as Gramps walked to my window and pulled it open.

He nodded, closing the window and turning back to the door. But as he approached the entrance, he clasped a hand over his mouth. His eyes widened, “Jessica, what have you done.” his voice was soft, shocked.

I slowly strung a web to the ceiling, sliding down it and closing the door. I clicked the lock shut, turning back to Gramps. “It’s not what it looks like,”

It’s too late to tell him it’s not true. He already knows it’s me. He knows who I am. What I am

“I’m sorry,” I said, my voice cracked. “I’m so sorry.”

“Jessica,” Gramps said, trying to reach my hand as I ran across the room and jumped through the open window. “You can’t do this….” if he said anything else, I didn’t hear it as I bolted for Aletha’s house, taking the directions she’d given me at lunch and pulling him out.

And all I heard as I ran was a repeating voice. Gramps’ repeating voice.

“What have you done?”

As I rounded the corner and out of Gramps’ sight, I skidded to a stop. Hunched in the backyard of a neighbour's house, my breath skyrocketed. My heart rate wasn’t far behind.

What have I done? Gamps had seen me differently on a whole new scale. What was I going to do? Why did I run? Why couldn’t I just sit and explain it to him? Why did I hide? I sighed.

I need to find Aletha.

But I was still wearing my suit. Maybe making the suit alone was a terrible idea. I had packed a bag with regular clothes in it earlier so when I found her house, I could change, and she would know nothing. But I had left that in my room when I bolted from Gramps.

I tugged my mask off, pulling in a deep breath. My chin quivered, but I held down a sob. Aletha will understand, I convinced myself. There was no other option. I couldn’t Chow Gramps who I am. He must already be worried sick.

I pulled myself up and started into the street. I pulled my mask back into my face. My feet dragged behind me. My heart sat low in my chest. I couldn’t help but think of Gramps’ face as he saw me. The shock. The fear.

Annnnnndddd. That’s it, for now, *hides head under rock* I mean, the chapter ends on a sort of cliffhanger anyways, so it doesn’t matter, buuuutttt……yeah….

Anyways, that was just over 1000 words long, and if you hated it, make sure to tell me because…well, just because. *shrugs* I do hope you don’t hate it.

May the Lord be with you, forever and always, my dead friends (I do hope I can call you friends). Take care.

-Claudia